I smoked not out of boredom…or habit…or addiction. It was out of a sense of loss. My world had changed…and thus, all my relationship built to this point must also change. No longer am I the K-Market’s clerk. No longer do I have a six block, functioning radius of influence, nor is my life ever going to be the same again. The task at hand is to mobilize, make change, and give hope. This is ballsy, this is hard, this is leadership.
No more can people complain to me that there are no jobs. I have jobs…lots of them. I’m connected into the system again…though it is flawed, it still provides the tools to make change in our society. It is a long road!
However, as I lift the tenth cigarette to my mouth…the Sisters Mountain Range rises to my right. It is as if most of the journey is behind me…Portland is now miles behind us. The immediate future lies ahead of us…it is Bend, it is summer, it is all the great things Central Oregon has to offer. Biking, skiing, floating, girls in thongs…it is a new life. Deschutes County is now my territory…it is mine to lead if my friends, neighbors and extended family choose to follow. That is the hard part.
I must leave a part of myself underneath the florescent green K-Market sign. It is over, it is done but my personal mythology will always run through that damn store. I built from there, I made decisions based on customer comments, it was a grand laboratory. It showed all that is good in the world and all that is equally bad.
A blip of choices made to insure my own survival. That instinct to provide shelter, food, and clothing….it was the only choice I had and I attempted to make the best of it. I only hope I’ve influence people for the better…gave hope…shared information…and provided a positive influence. This is the hard part, I will not know until months, years or decades down the road if anything good has come from the last 18 months of living on minimum wage.
It is not a minimum wage…it is indentured servitude in a capitalistic system. It does not provide for food, clothing and shelter…let alone water, electricity, heat or fun. Hard choices are faced by those who live under the rules, regulations and guidance of our current system. It is a police state bent on impoverishment instead of empowerment…F.D.R., J.F.K., and the other great ‘liberal’ leaders of the 20th century would be appalled with the legacy of Reagan, Bush, and Clinton. The great American society has crumbled through materialism and excess.
Yes, it has been for a while. This may be what needs to change.
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